


Beautiful

by AspenCe



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Bittersweet Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Deceit | Janus Sanders Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Memories, Metaphors, Sad, Sad Ending, Tragedy, descriptions of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28835592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenCe/pseuds/AspenCe
Summary: Roman burned when Remus drowned.It was beautiful.Or, Patton asks his Dad about a stranger in a photo.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Beautiful

(“Dad? Who’s R-Ro... Roman?” Patton asks, reading from a picture frame. There are three people in the photo, two identical and the third as different as can be.

Janus chuckles, but his smile grows sad. 

“Well, Patton… let me tell you a story.”)

Roman’s wings were beautiful. 

Roman’s wings were a shimmering golden red, and when he pulled them open they framed his rich brown skin and glittering ruby eyes and made it look like he was carrying the sunset with him. 

The feathers that sprouted from his head like the face of a crown stood tall, almost like a peacock’s tail, but crimson and orange edged with snowy white at the tips and soft black at the base. The feathers that pricked from his forearms and shins were soft red, almost pink. They were beautiful.

Roman was beautiful. 

Aside from his feathers and his wings, his hair was soft, his eyes were bright, and his skin was rough but warm and smooth. 

He didn’t look strong, but he didn’t look weak - and if he were to show it, he was strong enough to carry twice his weight. 

He was just the right amount of plump, so that there weren’t any sharp edges to him except his jaw and the edges of his feathers. 

And Roman was  _ beautiful.  _

His words were like gems, to be treasured, coveted. They were passionate and emotional, amused and relaxed, or sharp and disappointed - and it was all rubies and diamonds and polished amethyst. 

His personality was vibrant. He burned so brightly that standing close to him would warm even the coldest of souls. He was always moving, either articulating his words with wide, sweeping gestures, or ruffling his feathers while he waited for something, or running a hand through his hair when he was upset. 

He was like the sun, bright and warm and burning, burning, burning. 

(Janus zones off into the fire in the fireplace, lost in another time. 

It still aches, but he finds that it’s not altogether unpleasant.

He often forgets that despite the pain of remembering, it feels good to let the feelings and memories out.)  
  


It seemed as though someone so filled with passion that they were always burning could never last. 

He didn’t last. 

He couldn’t have. 

(He remembers thinking that to himself when he first met Roman. He wishes things had gone differently, for all of them.

He closes his eyes.

“It’s okay Dad, you don’t have to finish,” Patton scoots in next to him, and his warmth is comforting.

Janus smiles. “No, it’s alright. I want to.”)

Roman’s story didn’t end in the way they’d always thought it would. 

Roman was only seventeen when he burned so brightly that his wings caught fire, his skin blistered, and his words were quenched by the smoke and ashes. 

His skin healed, leaving burn scars on his back, upper arms, and left leg. 

His words came back with practice and signing. 

But his wings never grew back. 

(Janus remembers the look in Roman’s eyes, and then he remembers why he did it. Looking back, he doesn’t think there was any chance of it ending differently.)

Roman was beautiful. But it was no longer like the sun, pure and bright and pulling color from the most shadowed of corners. It was no longer the kind of beauty that drew smiles and brought life into people who’d forgotten. 

It was the kind of beauty that resided in a shattered mirror. The kind that came from rolling waves of dark gray clouds and thin strokes of lightning. 

It was the kind of beauty that came from holding a dying rose and placing it in front of a cold gravestone that bore the words,

_ Here Lies Buried  _

_ The Body of Remus D Crown _

_ June 1988 - April 2005 _

_ A storm-tossed sea; always remembered. _

Later, not much later, it would be the beauty of a second gravestone to the right of the first, bearing the same last name. 

( _ The cold, merciless beauty of dark red dripping onto tile, _ Janus thinks, but doesn’t say. His words are becoming strained.)

_ Here Lies Buried  _

_ The Body of Roman C Crown _

_ June 1988 - August 2006 _

_ A shining sunset; never forgotten. _

It was the beauty of someone reading headstones, then lingering on the inscriptions, on the dates, on the matching stones. The beauty of being able to tell a story through words never spoken, words that were aching to be said. 

The beauty of someone moved to tears by the thought of the tale of two brothers, one who was drowned in his own ocean and one who was consumed by his own fire. 

Someone brought to tears by the thought that there were once two brothers who had glittered like rubies, that one had fallen and the other couldn’t bear to keep climbing without him, so much so that he followed.

( _ Even when there was nowhere to go,  _ Janus adds mournfully in his thoughts.)

The beauty of a funeral where no one could speak through the heaviness.

The beauty of a poem that made shattered mirrors into broken hearts.

It was beautiful. Beautiful and sad.

( _A frozen bird with broken wings._

Janus hugs Patton close to try and stop himself from breaking apart.

Patton is crying. He’s always been an empath.

Janus remembers Roman. He remembers Remus. He looks up to the ceiling and swallows the pain, even though tears are already slipping down his cheeks.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When heaven’s newest angel opens his eyes and spreads his wings, it shines like a sun rising on a summer morning, rays gleaming and fire blazing. 

When heaven’s newest angel locks eyes with his starry reflection, it slows down the world. 

Ruby eyes, a streak of snowy white hair. 

Ruby eyes, feathers like molten gold and red. 

Ruby eyes, arms entangled, heartbeats beating together, breaths deep and hitching.

Ruby eyes, closing eyelids, and heaven’s newest angel breaks down in tears. 

**_I missed you._ **

**_Me too._ **

Ruby eyes, and his reflection echoes the action with his own sobs.

**_I’m sorry._ **

**_...Me too._ **

And it’s beautiful. 

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism is always welcomed.
> 
> If you have any questions, I can answer them. It’s a one-shot so there’s no problem with “spoilers”. 
> 
> <3


End file.
